“An orgasm is not something you have; it is something you learn to have, or rather, you learn to allow yourself to experience it.” This phrase, attributed to the renowned French sexologist and researcher Valérie Tasso, reflects a thought that many experts have been warning about for some time: it doesn’t matter how incredible a woman’s partner is in bed—or how modern her sex toy is—if she does not allow herself to feel an orgasm.
Elusive for many, reaching climax can even become an unattainable obsession, something that exists only in the imagination of an intense erotic scene that appears in movies. Movies that, by the way, perpetuate many of the myths that various sex educators have tried to debunk, such as the idea that orgasm only occurs through penetration (which contrasts with studies revealing that only about 25% of women achieve it that way).
This is called the “orgasm gap,” and it has been documented in scientific literature for over 20 years. In light of this reality, BBC Mundo spoke with various experts about some ways that can help women experience orgasms. There are no magic formulas or quick guides – they warn – but there are some tips that can be useful.